


And Just Like That

by JesstheEnthusiast



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Restaurant, F/M, Feminism, Feminist Themes, I cannot believe that is actually a tag I did not create that one myself, Muggle AU, Warning for Strong Sexist Language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-09
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-01-24 01:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1587437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesstheEnthusiast/pseuds/JesstheEnthusiast
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Between you and me, love, the kitchen is more of a boy's club." Lily applies to be a cook at a cafe Severus works at, but is hired as a waitress instead while two inexperienced gits get her job.</p><p>James/Lily Muggle Restaurant AU.</p><p>Warning for Very Strong Sexist Language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Due to popular demand on tumblr, there will be a part two! Thanks for reading and special thanks to my good friend, Emily, for being my first reader and giving me all kinds of advice and encouragement!
> 
> Please review :)

The head waitress, a woman called Rosmerta, hands her an apron and a notepad, leaving Lily more than a bit confused.

“I thought I’d be working in the kitchen,” she says slowly, extending her arms forward as if to hand the offending items back. “My friend, Severus Snape – he’s one of the cooks – and, well, he said that there was an opening and everything, and if you could just look at my CV –”

“Between you and me, love, the kitchen is more of a boy’s club,” Rosmerta interrupts gently, wearing a sad smile, and Lily feels her heart drop. “The boss just hired two blokes ‘round your age. They don’t have much in the way of experience – claimed to be fast learners, though.”

And just like that, Lily’s blood is boiling, her voice cracking. “But I  _have_  experience.”

Another sad smile. She understands. “Sorry, love. Just the way it is.” After giving Lily’s arm a comforting squeeze, she rushes to assist a brash customer that’s demanding for more tea, calling out, “You start in ten so smoke up if you do – the boss doesn’t like the ladies taking ciggy breaks during shifts.”

Lily uses those ten minutes to cry in the loo instead.

~

After fumbling through her first order, Lily bursts into the kitchen and charges toward Severus, the first page of her dumb notebook crumpled in her fist. “Why’d you lie to me?”

Startled by her sudden appearance, he knocks over a stray ketchup bottle that sends a red squirt onto his shirt collar. Panic stricken, he immediately looks over his shoulder to see if anyone in the kitchen has taken notice, but, fortunately enough for him, they’re alone. This seems to visibly relax him, and he attempts to wipe the ketchup off with his hand, but instead spreads it onto his neck and shoulder. “What are you talking about, Lily? I didn’t –”

“You said they’d hire me!”

“But they did –”

“Yeah, as a  _waitress_.” She makes a disgusted face, and then she’s quiet, scanning the kitchen and eyeing all of its secondhand equipment and appliances with envy.

Severus offers her a shrug and returns to building what looks to be a simple ham and bacon sandwich –  _please_ , as if  _she_  couldn’t do that. “Better than nothing, right?”

He looks like he actually means that and Lily can’t help but scoff. “Are you kidding me, Sev? Not when the only reason I wasn’t hired is because I’m a girl!” He doesn’t say anything in reply, staring determinedly at the sandwich that he has no reason to be crafting so carefully. She sighs, lightly jabbing the counter with her foot. “So, where are the two new gits anyway?”

Severus shrugs, still refusing to offer her a glance. “Must be in the backroom. Last I knew, Lupin was giving them a quick tour.”

“During lunch service?”

“Well, they were only just hired, and things are pretty slow at the moment. Two morons, anyway,” he murmurs darkly, bitterly. “Think they’re such a laugh.”

“Well, are they?”

“ _No_. Haven’t even been here a half-hour and they already think they own the place. And they’ve got the nerve to…” He’s red in the face and so worked up that he can’t even finish the thought, his gaze dropping resentfully to his shoes that are old and beaten up. He doesn’t say it but Lily knows anyway, and she can bet that those boys were probably taking the mickey out of more than just his trainers.

Putting aside her hurt and frustration, her face softens, reaching out to grab his stained collar while looking around for a wet rag or something she could use to clean it. “Here, let me help you.”

He jerks away from her grasp, again refusing to meet her eyes. “ _No_. I’ve got it. And Lily, you’ve got to get back out there. Did you get drink for your table? Do you have an order for me?”

“Oh,  _shit_!”

And just like that, almost everything is forgotten as Lily hands over the order to Severus and gets two waters from the drinks machine without another word to her friend.

On her way out of the kitchen she bumps into a tall, bespectacled boy with untidy, black hair. Having met Remus Lupin earlier that day, she knows it has to be one of the new cooks.

He regards her thoughtfully for a moment. “Have you been crying?”

Her eyes widen. “No.”

She pushes passed him.

~

They’re walking home.

“See, it wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Lily shrugs. “It would have been better if I was in the kitchen with you.”

All she gets in response is a sigh, and that sparks some annoyance within her, but Severus appears to be attempting to gather his thoughts so she lets him do so in silence. “Yeah, I would have liked that too, and Riddle’s got some weird policies, but…” he trails off, looking a little nervous.

“But what?”

Apparently growing more confident, he sighs again and says in an offhanded manner, “It’s just that this isn’t necessarily the  _worst_  job for you, Lily. You get tips and besides you could be a dishwasher like Pettigrew – now  _that’s_  rotten luck.”

Lily shakes her head, laughing humorlessly. “Dishwasher? Knowing how things work around here, I think, like the cooking, I’d need a penis for that job.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I.”

Silence. And she thinks he’s dropped it. But then:

“I don’t think it’s like that.”

And just like that, she’s feeling the frustration she felt when Rosmerta told her the kitchen was ‘more of a boy’s club.’ “Then what  _is_  it like, Sev?”

He’s upset her and he knows it and he’s spluttering all over the place. “I just…I just think with you being you, it’d be a waste to not have you be one of the waitresses.”

It takes her a moment to process that.

“What the hell is  _that_  supposed to mean?”

“Just hear me out! You’re…charming, you know? When you need to be. And I bet Riddle could tell the moment you walked into his office this morning. So all that plus the way you look will be really great for business – especially with the blokes, at least.”

Eyeing him incredulously, she shakes her head. He meant it as a compliment – in some backwards, fucked up way that was supposed to be a compliment. And it’s not the first time. But she doesn’t brush it off like she always has. “That’s disgusting.”

Lily begins to walk faster and he has to catch up.

~

It’s her third day and she’s sitting in the staff parking lot with her head in her hands. She doesn’t want to cry, but she can feel the build up, feel the eruption that’s just waiting to happen.

Someone lightly toes her shoe with their own. She looks up and the sun is in her eyes, but it’s the tall boy that she ran into on her first day – one of the new cooks. She hasn’t really come across him much since because she typically gives her orders to Severus, and then Remus when Sev is too busy.

But Lily remembers that this boy is called James, and the other one is Sirius. They’re best mates or something. They like to use spatulas as makeshift swords when things are slow.

Severus hates them.

She’s not too sure about herself; she definitely deserves their jobs over them, but they hold their own in the kitchen. Guess they weren’t lying about being fast learners.

“All right?”

She shrugs and he sits down next to her. It must be his break too.

Once he’s settled, he somewhat playfully knocks his shoulder into hers. “You know, I once heard that you aren’t a  _real_  waitress until you’ve spilled a whole tray of drinks onto a few customers.”

It’s dumb, but she laughs anyway. “You just made that up.”

James grins when he shrugs. And just like that, she finds herself relaxing a bit for some reason, but then the realization hits her.

“Wait,  _shit_ , how do you know about that? Did you see or are the others all talking about me?”

“Mary was whispering about it to Remus, yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair and his arm just barely brushes against hers. It’s not exactly for the first time that she notices that he’s pretty handsome in that lanky, dorky, but confident way of his. “But not unkindly. She’s nice.”

“Yeah, she is.”

They don’t say anything else. Just sit there in silence as James fidgets about, seemingly incapable of keeping still. But then not long after, he nudges her to let her know that break is over. And they head inside together, not saying another word.

~

Mary  _is_  nice – almost criminally so. And while James did make up what he’d said, Mary assures Lily that accidents like that always happen to waitresses during their first few weeks. It’s nothing to really worry about.

And over the next few days, it doesn’t worry her. But other things do.

Like how older and younger male customers seem to think it’s okay to call her pet names or touch her in a way that’s borderline inappropriate. How she’s supposed to just smile and be pleasant and take it because it’s bad business to do otherwise.

How Severus seems to think there’s nothing wrong with the situation whenever she rants and raves about it on the walk home.

“So…that’s it? He called you ‘sweetheart.’”

“And he kept needlessly grabbing onto my wrist. You don’t think that’s a big deal?”

“Well, I don’t know – I guess I just don’t get what the problem is.”

“The  _problem_  is that he made me uncomfortable the entire time I was serving him.”

“He’s a regular who tips really well…”

“It’s that supposed to make it  _better_  or  _okay_?”

“No, it doesn’t. I’m just saying.”

“Well,  _don’t_.”

The rest of the walk is spent in silence until they’ve reached her house. She’s about to go inside without even a goodbye until he finally speaks up. “I just think you’re making it out to be a bit of a bigger deal than it is. I mean, if he ever actually really touches you or says something threatening, you should report it, but for now, it’s harmless. That’s all I’m trying to say, Lily.”

And just like that, things feel a little different between them.

~

James sits with her during their breaks on most days and usually it’s in comfortable silence. Sometimes he’ll point out something about that day’s customers that will make her laugh, but most of the time he’s content with untying and then retying her shoelaces. He always double knots them.

Sirius joins them today because it’s  _really_  slow inside the café, and he offers her a cigarette that she politely declines.

“ _Oi_ , mate,” James says suddenly, lunging across Lily to shove Sirius, who sits on the other side of her. In that brief moment, she’s extremely aware of how good James smells. “Did you even ask if it’s all right to light up in front of her?”

She’s a little dazed, but quick to respond. “It’s fine.”

“You sure? I can get him to bugger off,” he says, puffing out his chest and throwing her a wink.

She laughs because it’s ridiculous and  _he’s_  ridiculous. “Really, it’s fine.”

Sirius moves into a lounging position on the pavement and somehow manages to look elegantly bored in his chef’s uniform – which is merely a plain white shirt and apron over black trousers. He’s so effortlessly handsome that it almost hurts to look at him, to be in his company. He takes a drag on his cigarette, looking eerily like a film star, and is careful not to blow the smoke in her direction. “See? It’s fine. You’re just being a prat, James,  _honestly_.”

“Had to make sure, mate. Because I don’t know about you, but I don’t want her to go back to hating us.”

Sirius snorts. “You can say that again.”

During this exchange, Lily has been looking back and forth between them in confusion. “What? I’ve never hated either of you.”

“Sure you did, Evans.”

“ _Very_  impressive third-degree you were giving us those first few days.”

This takes her a moment to digest, because it’s true that she’d been resentful and not particularly subtle about it. And she should probably explain her reasoning for that, but she doesn’t want to mess up this weird, sort of friendship they’ve established. But she doesn’t want to lie either. “Oh. No, I didn’t  _hate_  you, exactly. I just…didn’t think you should’ve been hired.”

Neither boy seems particularly upset about her remark – only curious. “Oh yeah? And who would have done a better job than us?”

“I mean, we generally don’t  _know_  what we’re doing,” James cuts in.

“But we’ve done all right,” continues Sirius.

“Haven’t set any fires, at least.”

“Except that one, but it was after hours and intentional for experimental purposes.”

The way that they finish each other’s sentences reminds her too much of identical twins. Or a married couple. And so Lily laughs. But it also makes her heart ache for a friendship that she’s never quite had. She hates herself for thinking it – especially after every nasty thing that Severus has said about them on their walks home – but it’s true.

“Well, you see, I worked two summers in a café kitchen that recently closed shop because the owner retired. So I applied here because Severus was sure they’d hire me and instead they turned me down and gave me the waitressing gig.”

It takes a moment for that to completely sink in and James runs a hand through his unruly hair, an adorably bemused expression on his face. “But that doesn’t make any sense. If you’ve had experience, then why not hire you over us? Or  _at least_  have you in the kitchen with either Sirius or me as part of the wait staff instead.”

“Yeah, James is brilliant at balancing stuff on his head. Being a waiter would be no different.”

Lily isn’t particularly sure how to respond to that so she doesn’t, just laughs and says, with a bit of hesitance, “Well, on the day that I came for a job, Rosmerta told me that the kitchen here is a ‘boy’s club.’”

There’s silence, and it’s different than the one they shared a moment ago; it’s heavier and there’s enough of it that she thinks telling the truth was probably a bad idea. And she’s disappointed. Because Severus has been disappointing her a lot lately and she’d been hoping that these boys were different.

But then:

“That’s fucked up.”

“ _Really_  fucked up.”

And just like that, her faith is restored.

The next day when James comes to sit with her during their break, he’s alone, but he’s brought a sandwich that he and Sirius made especially for her.

After a while, he asks, “So is all this why you were crying? That very first day?”

She nods.

“It appears that we work for a sexist asshole, don’t we?”

~

“You’re getting awfully cozy with Potter and Black,” Severus spits the moment they leave to walk home.

“Been waiting to say that all day, haven’t you?” It’s not exactly a question, and she already feels herself on the defensive.

Severus looks disgusted. “It’s true then, isn’t it? How can you do that to me? After the way they’ve treated me?! I thought we were supposed to be  _friends_ , Lily –  _best_  friends!”

“We  _are_ , Sev.” And just like that, she wonders if she says it because it’s true or because it’s routine. She honestly has no idea. But she’s cross with him – like she’s almost always cross with him nowadays – for not understanding and ignoring the discrimination and harassment she’s been facing. For brushing off her feelings day after day, and she feels annoyed enough to do the same to him. “You know, I just don’t see the problem. It’s probably not as big of a deal as you think it is.”

She can’t tell whether or not the irony of her words is lost on him, but he sends her a glare. “Or maybe, they’re just not as wonderful as you seem to think they are.”

Lily can’t help it; she blushes.

“You’re not there in the kitchen all day, you know. You have no idea.” She doesn’t say anything and he shakes his head bitterly. “Just talk to Lupin, I’m sure he’ll tell you if you ask. Since apparently my word isn’t enough to convince you anymore.”

~

She gets to work early the next day since she knows that Remus, the unofficial Head Chef, come in at least an hour before everyone else’s call time.

“Tell me what goes on when I’m not in here,” she asks after exchanging pleasantries.

And just like that, she knows everything.

~

“The nice thing about Remus is that even though he’s school friends with James and Sirius – obviously not as close since those two are practically attached at the hip except for when James is on break with you, of course – but he’s not biased. Remus, that is.” The café is mostly empty so Mary is making herself a cup of coffee with Lily on the lookout for Rosmerta since the waitresses aren’t supposed to drink or eat anything during their shifts. “He’s always telling the truth no matter what, you know? I’ve seen some stuff and I think both sides are pretty mean just for the sake of being mean, but James and Sirius are just funnier when they do it, if that makes sense.”

In a small way, she can understand where Mary is coming from, but it encourages rather than placates the part of Lily that is ready to snap. “That doesn’t make it okay.”

“I’m not saying that it does. It’s just that listing all of the things they’ve done and said to Snape like that sounds a lot more mean spirited than when you’re there to see it. And you’re focusing a lot on what James and Sirius have been doing – don’t forget all of the things Remus said about Snape too.”

Lily taps her fingers on the counter, trying not to allow her emotions to bleed through her calm exterior. “You’re awfully biased towards Potter and Black, you know.” Her voice is a little on the tight side.

“And you’re awfully biased towards Snape, Lily,” Mary replies kindly – almost too kindly. The kind of kind that annoys a person who feels as irritable as Lily does right now. And just like that, Mary, as nice as she is, has marked aligned herself with the enemy. “I’m sorry but it’s true. I’ve worked here just as long as Snape has and he hasn’t treated the wait staff half as politely as James and Sirius do. And since when have they been ‘Potter and Black’ to you?”

Lily doesn’t respond.

~

It’s either good luck or bad luck that Lily walks in on the worst of it during closing later that night. They don’t see her and she doesn’t make her presence known either.

“…Why have grease for the fryers when you’re around, huh,  _Snivellus_?”

It’s James –  _Potter_  – and she flinches at his words. Scanning the room for Remus, she finds him determinedly ignoring the situation while scrubbing what appears to be a spotless counter. Peter Pettigrew, that dishwasher she’s only spoken to once, looks on the scene with glee.

“We can just wring your hair over the chips and they’ll be good to go.”

This time it’s Black, who sounds just as taunting, and her stomach twists into knots; she feels absolutely horrible for defending them the other night, for not believing her  _best friend_  all because of a stupid row.

Severus keeps his voice low and even when he says, “Fuck off, you pieces of  _shit_.” But he’s eyeing something on the counter that’s not quite in Lily’s line of sight.

“You know, there’s a perfectly working sink over there. We can do you a favor and wash both your hair  _and_  your mouth for you.”

“Really, it’d be no trouble at all, Snivellus.”

“I said,  _fuck off_.”

Potter and Black are just about to lunge forward – to what? Force Severus’ head into the sink? And then what? Dunk him and hope that he doesn’t swallow or inhale too much water? – when Lily steps out to reveal herself.

“Leave him ALONE!” Hands balled into fists, she’s never felt so angry, so betrayed, and her eyes burn into Potter and Black, who take a step back. Potter’s hand jumps to his hair.

She’s vaguely aware of Lupin lingering in the background –  _Lupin_  who is supposedly unbiased and yet does nothing. How often does he let this happen?

But he isn’t her priority right now. It’s Potter and Black – Potter for some reason especially, who she had grown a particular affection for after days of sitting in the sun together.

Yes, she feel particularly angry towards him.

“All right there, Lily? We’re just playing around, you know.”

It’s the wrong thing to say. The other day Potter had said all of the right things, but at this very moment, everything is wrong. He’d had her fooled – she  _feels_  like a fool. For believing. And she wants to roll her eyes because how long does he think she’d been standing there? She’s seen enough to know that this does not classify as “playing around.”

“Leave him alone,” she repeats, and she can barely recognize her own voice. “What has he done to you anyway?”

Potter shrugs. Black looks bored and disinterested.

Then there’s a sudden brightness in Potter’s eyes – hazel eyes that she had thought of as warm and captivating – and he steps forward, Severus seemingly forgotten.

“I could do that, you know – leave him alone. Just one thing though: go out with me. And then that’s it, I’ll leave him alone.”

She feels coldness in the pit of her stomach, but warmth at the tip of her toes. She scoffs. “You’re disgusting, you know that? I’d rather go out with –”

But Lily never gets to say who she’d rather go out with, because Sirius suddenly shoves her to the oppose side of the kitchen, shouting, “What the FUCK are you doing?”

It’s what Severus had been keeping his eye on this entire time: a somewhat dull kitchen knife that had yet to be put away and remained on the counter. But it’s clear that she’s not his target, not that she ever expected to be, when he lunges for Potter – Potter, who is trying to unarm Severus, and Black who is trying to push Potter out of harm’s way.

Lily rushes forward, but Lupin suddenly decides to be a man of action and holds her back.

It all happens very quickly: the scuttle, the battle for possession, the slip that shallowly cuts Potter’s cheek – enough to gush blood on his white shirt.

In the end, it is Black who has the knife in his hands – Black who is fuming and the most menacing she’s ever seen a person outside of a film. Potter has found a rag that he’s holding against his slashed face, looking as if in absolute shock. Lily knows the feeling.

After a moment of eerie stillness, Lily wrestles out of Lupin’s grasp and eases her way towards Severus, who is shaking like a spooked animal. “Sev? Are you –?”

“Are you seriously asking  _him_  if he’s all right? He fucking cut my face open!”

She whirls on him, eyes blazing. “Shut up, Potter!”

In her moment of distraction, Black has disposed of the knife and approached Severus, promptly and childishly tugging down Severus’ trousers to expose graying underwear.

Everyone in the room – including Pettigrew, who she’d forgotten – begins to laugh. And in that moment she doesn’t know whether or not to join in, because it truly is quite a shocking sight, but at the same time, she wants to cry for her friend, who looks completely humiliated as he attempts to pull up his trousers and retain some dignity. She takes a step to reach for him.

“Since Evans, here, fights your battles, maybe she can wash your pants for you too,” Black says between barks of laughter.

Potter is just as unkind. “Yeah, and lucky for you that she was around –”

Severus shrugs her hand off his arm, complete hatred in his eyes. “I don’t need help from  _cunts_  like her!”

Lily blinks. There’s a stillness that settles and she feels like she can’t breathe. Maybe it was she who’d been cut all along. But she can’t cry – not here. “Fine. I won’t bother next time…and I’d wash my pants if I were you,  _Snivellus_.”

And just like that, with one last glance at Severus, Lily doesn’t have a best friend anymore.

Potter suddenly erupts, “Apologize to her, you disgusting piece of –”

“Shut up!” she shouts, rounding on him. “You think you’re any better?”

Potter actually looks shocked and affronted. “W-what? You think I’d ever – I’d  _never_  call you a… _that_!”

Lily lets out a laugh – it’s humorless. “Did you not just try to blackmail me into dating you? Is that what you call respect? You make me SICK!” One last glare and she turns on her heels to head for the door.

Rosmerta steps into the kitchen just as she’s leaving, startling the five remaining members of the room. “What the HELL is going on in here?” she hears Rosmerta roar, but she’s already gone. Her apron is off and she’s gone.

~

She wonders if he ever learned how to properly apologize after growing up the way that he did – wonders if he knows that a simple  _“I’m sorry”_ doesn’t actually fix anything. He has to mean it, has to want to change. And he doesn’t. Because he isn’t actually sorry about what he’d said, only that he said it to  _her_.

“No – listen, I didn’t mean – ”

“ – to call me a cunt? But that’s what you call all the other waitresses, Severus. Oh, didn’t think I’d hear about that, did you? I reckon that’s what you’re always muttering under your breath about. So tell me, why should I be any different?”

And just like that – after arguing for ages – there’s silence.

~

“Are you pressing charges? You know, for your face.”

She’s sitting in James Potter’s room. It’s different than she thought it’d be. His house is absolutely monstrous, but his room is…rather unlike James. Nothing extraordinary. Football and rugby posters, sketches, dirty laundry – just like any other bloke’s room. Lily’s not sure why that seems to disappoint her.

“Nah, my family has enough money that we can literally  _buy_  Snape.” He keeps picking at the bandage taped over his cheek; she pushes his hand away from it.

“That’s not funny.”

James shrugs. “Doesn’t make it any less true.”

And just like that the dormant rage within her suddenly erupts, and she  _hates_  him, she hates him hates him hates him – or at least she wants to. “You know, you’re  _horrible_.”

He must detect her indignation, because he’s immediately on the defensive. “What? It was just a joke!”

“Well, I don’t think it’s funny!”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve established that already, yeah?” he drawls, rolling his eyes.

That only seems to fuel her fury. “Well I can only guess that it needs repeating because  _apparently_  you have a skewed idea of what’s a joke and what’s crossing the line,” she snaps.

James looks outraged. His hands ball into tight fists, and she’s never had such a pungent glare directed at her. “Is that why you came here? Not to see how I was doing, but to  _yell_  at me?”

“What? You don’t think you deserve it?”

“Lily _, is that why you came here?!_ ”

She forces herself to be quiet, to calm herself down. Because no, that isn’t why she came here – not at all.

James begins to soften, but only just barely. “Look –”

“The boy I used to sit with during breaks.” Her mouth feels dry. She can’t look at him. “I liked him. Does he actually exist?”

James doesn’t say anything. She wonders if he’s ever going to. The silence stretches for so long that she’s thinking about getting up, about leaving, but then –

“Yes.” It’s barely audible. Almost shy, which feels like a ridiculous word to associate with James Potter. He clears his throat. “But…I won’t lie to you, Lily – I won’t. So does the one you saw in the kitchen the other night. He exists too.”

“He doesn’t  _have_  to,” she insists quickly, stubbornly.

“No. He doesn’t.” He rubs his eyes behind his glasses; his hair is all over the place. “I’m sorry. I know…I know that doesn’t change what happened. But I’m sorry.”

Lily doesn’t know what to say. “Sorry” didn’t mean much when Severus said it either – but he, at the very least, expected it to make everything better. James doesn’t.

“I’m quitting my job at the café,” he continues, not even waiting for a reply, for a verdict of whether or not she forgives him. “I can’t…I shouldn’t be there. Not after the other night. Sirius will leave too. We don’t need the money anyway, and I bet…I bet he does.”

She know who James means by “he.” And he isn’t wrong.

“He has it really terrible back at home. His dad isn’t good to him or his mum.” She doesn’t go into specifics; she can’t betray Severus’ secrets like that. Not even now.

She looks over at James to see that he’s visibly paled. She didn’t have to say, but he understands.

“I didn’t know.”

“No, you didn’t.” She sighs. “But that shouldn’t  _change_  anything, James. You should have been nice anyway – whether things are shit at home for him or not.”

He nods. And he looks properly ashamed of himself. “You’re right. It just somehow makes it worse, you know?”

They’re quiet again. Lost in their own thoughts.

“How are you doing?” he asks suddenly, startling her.

“What?”

“I don’t mean to shift the blame off of me or anything, but he called you…a…a you-know-what. Are you all right?”

Lily shakes her head because she suddenly can’t speak. There’s a lump in her throat and then she’s crying – hard. Harder than the day she started waitressing at the café – harder than she’s cried in a long, long time. She’s only just started and James is already pulling her further onto the bed she’d been perched on the edge of, wrapping his arms securely around her. She holds on tight.

“I…fucked up, Lily,” he whispers into her hair. “He wouldn’t have called you that if I hadn’t fucked up.”

Shaking her head, she presses her face closer to his chest. Her tears are staining his shirt, but he doesn’t seem to mind. And he continues to hold her, even after her breathing has evened and sobs subsided.

“It would have slipped out eventually,” she finally whispers to his heart.

James instantly pulls back from her, using his warm hands to wipe the leftover tears from her cheeks, an angry crease in between his eyebrows. His breathing becomes sharp and labored. “I hate that. I know I’m a piece of shit and all, but I  _hate_  that.” He shuts his mouth for a moment to gather his thoughts and his jaw locks before meeting her eyes with more conviction than she’s ever seen from him – from anybody. “I want you to know that I respect you, okay? I know it probably doesn’t seem like I do since I asked you out like that, but I was – I don’t know what I was doing, I was being an idiot. I guess because Snape fancies you and I was trying to rile him up and –” He stops. “It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have done that. Like I shouldn’t have done a lot of things. But…just know that I only have the upmost respect for you. And for Mary and Rosmerta and all the other waitresses at the café – for all women. You don’t deserve people saying that kind of shit about you. That isn’t right.”

She wants to kiss him. She doesn’t because there’s still so much more that needs to be said – more issues to be discussed, problems to be ironed out. Lily doesn’t kiss him because James Potter has a long way to go, but she already sees so much in him that it makes her wants to.

And she takes another look around his room – it really isn’t anything extraordinary. But maybe places aren’t, only people.


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got around to finishing part two! There will be a part three and possibly a part four just in case you were wondering. Special thanks to Emily (Glisseo) for reading this over and for her encouragement!
> 
> Thanks for reading and please review! :)

Lily sees Severus for the first time since the night he tried to apologize. She's out food shopping for her mum and he follows her. She doesn't acknowledge it, but she  _knows_  and it bothers her and she quickens her pace, trying to lose him, while weaving through each and every isle. She doesn't pause for any of the items on her mum's list.

But he's still there – always ten steps behind her. Never calling out her name. Never saying anything, really.

" _What?!_ " she finally explodes, rounding on him. They're over by cereal now and it's been fifteen minutes; she's had enough.

Severus doesn't look scared of her tone, of her burning eyes, and that infuriates her because she wants him to be. But he doesn't attempt to come any closer, which somewhat satisfies her because she doesn't want him to.

"You quit the café," he finally says, stuffing his hands deep in his pockets – probably trying to appear casual, but his remark hits her like an accusation.

Lily narrows her eyes. "So?"

"So didn't Riddle offer you the job? In the kitchen?" Severus must be feeling confident because he takes a step forward; she, in turn, takes a step back. He doesn't try to mask the hurt on his face and she finds that, this time, she doesn't even care. He tugs on the hem of his shirt. "There's two openings, you know, and I-I asked him to. To ask you. And since I haven't seen you around, I figured that maybe he didn't after all. Even though he said he would."

"Well, he did. When I quit," she replies, hoping that her tone reflects how much she doesn't wish to partake in this conversation, how much she doesn't want to be here with him. The fact that he'd asked Riddle to offer her the job shows how much he just  _doesn't_   _get_   _it_. If this is his idea of making it up to her, then she isn't interested in explaining why it isn't enough – why nothing will ever be enough.

"And you turned it  _down_?" His hurt has transformed into outraged bewilderment.

" _Obviously_."

"But –"

"But what?" Lily interrupts, her voice biting. "I'm not interested in working for someone like him anymore. And I'm no longer interested in being around  _you_. So why not leave, yeah? I already told you – you chose your path, and I chose mine. So  _stop_  following me and  _leave me alone_." Giving him a pointed glare, she leaves him in the cereal isle.

And just like that, he doesn't follow.

* * *

She doesn't know what to do. Because she actually  _does_  need a job, but it's nearing the middle of July and no one is hiring.

Her father said that he'd ask his boss if the office could use another receptionist, but she doesn't  _want_  to be a receptionist, she wants to cook, to be around food. But with every passing day, with every café that isn't taking CV submissions, it feels less and less likely that it will happen.

Frustrated, Lily bakes herself cupcakes because despite her cooking talents, baking has always been a struggle and she needs the challenge, needs the distraction. But mostly she needs to get away from her bedroom. Because no matter where she looks – at the carpet, the ceiling, her fucking  _walls_  – she sees Severus. In every thought, every memory, he's there haunting her – because all these years, he's always been here, hasn't he? How do you get rid of someone like that? Because taking down pictures doesn't help; throwing away past birthday and Christmas gifts doesn't either. All that's done is proven that he can be gone and yet he can still be there.

Lily has heard of phantom limbs and she wonders if that applies to people as well.

And it isn't really fair that he can do this to her; he has no right to after everything that's happened. But she still feels sad and lonely, still feels like a part of her has died along with her and Severus' friendship. And who can she talk to? Her parents are both at work, her sister left for London ages ago and it's not like they speak to one another anyway. She can't talk to the girls because they've always hated Severus and will probably say "I told you so," and James…James is something else entirely.

So she calls Mary. Because Mary's nice and she'd never say "I told you so." Lily needs that right now.

"Well, he was important to you, Lily. That's why it hurts." Mary's voice is soft and soothing and just like that, Lily finds herself tearing up at the sound of it. Because she's right. Although:

"But he doesn't  _deserve_  that."

There's a pause. "No. He doesn't. But you can't always change how you feel." They're both quiet for a moment while that resonates and then Mary's talking again but it's in a whisper. "You know, I always used to tell myself that if anyone ever had the nerve to call me that ugly word, I…well, I'd slap them. But when it finally happened, I froze. I wanted to do something –  _say_  something at the very least – but I couldn't. It was like I'd completely shut down. And so I'd say to myself,  _'Next time, Mary. If there's ever a next time, you'll do something then.'_  Not that it's happened often, but next time came and went about three times or so and…nothing. Each time I've done  _nothing_.

"I sometimes wonder if that makes me a coward –"

"You're not a coward, Mary," Lily says fiercely, and she means it. "I didn't slap anyone, either – as much as I would have liked to."

"No, but he said it and then you did something about it. You should be proud of that."

Lily smiles. She hasn't done that in a while.

But then she smells something burning, and she remembers the cupcakes. " _Shit_. I'll have to call you back, Mary."

* * *

She's in a bookstore looking at recipes when she runs into James. Or, rather, that he finds her, struggling to reach a book on the top shelf. And of course he saunters over and grabs it for her, because he's James and why wouldn't he. She wants to be annoyed at him for that, for being so awfully cliché. But when she turns to face him, his hair is all over the place and his glasses are crooked and she can't find it within her to be all that cross.

"Fancy meeting you here," he greets with a halfhearted grin, handing over her book, and it's almost as if the incident in the kitchen never happened, as if she's never cried into his chest for a half hour. And maybe it  _is_  like that, to the casual onlooker, to someone who isn't close enough to see the stiffness in his smile and the way that she can't bring herself to match it. But her mouth does twitch. Just a little.

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" he adds when she's silent, and this is painfully awkward, isn't it? Just one look at the way he fingers the bandage that's still plastered to the gash Severus gave him, and she knows he can feel it too.

But she's still Lily and he's still James and that means she can't resist pulling his hand away from his cheek, can't resist  _caring_  about him. "Don't pick at it," she says and her voice is soft. She can't quite forgive him yet, can't quite forget everything that has happened, but she's so tired of being angry with him.

He shrugs. She's still holding onto his hand. It's warm. "Can't help it sometimes." He's looking down at their hands and why hasn't she let go yet?

Lily takes a step back, embarrassed; she has to leave –  _now_. "I'll see you," she tells him. She doesn't know when or how or why but she knows she will, that they will find a way – the world is funny like that. And that's all it takes – three little words and just like that, she  _knows._  Just knows that she'll see James Potter again.

"Remus told me that you quit the café," he calls after her. He sounds more like himself, more confident, like he really believes in that "I'll see you." Like he took that as a sign, and he should.

She's still walking. "I did."

"Do you, you know,  _need_  another job?" She knows he's asking her if she needs the money – James, who has enough to work simply to quench his boredom. And she does – need the money, that is.

"I'll find something."

And she's gone. Lost to him within the maze of bookshelves. He'll find her again.

* * *

"Have you tried asking that one 'round the corner from  _Tom's_?" Mary is draped over the arm of the sofa, nose inches from the floor and rattling off names of local cafés as Lily makes lazy snow angels on the carpet. It's hot and sticky and the ceiling fan is complete rubbish.

"Not hiring," Lily sighs, and it's frustrating because it feels like she's visited every café in town and none of them are looking for kitchen help. She wants to hate Severus for this, for forcing her out of a job but mostly she hates herself for ignoring what was in front of her for so long. But she wants to move on, to not dwell on it, and be okay again. She's honestly trying.

However, now is too hot to try – to do anything, really. Other than make snow angels in the carpet, of course. The slow trajectory of her arms create somewhat of a pitiful breeze for her flushed cheeks and the idea of how this all must look causes her to erupt into giggles.

"Mary…I-I think…" She can barely get a word out. "I think th-the heat…it, it's driving me  _mad_  –"

"What about waitressing?"

Lily stiffens. And just like that her laughter ends as abruptly as it began. "What about it?"

"I know a place that's hiring…"

"No, Mary, I am  _not_  doing that again." And she means it. She did it once, she hated it, and she's never doing it again.

Mary sighs, lifting her head from the floor to give Lily a pointed look. "Honestly, Lily, do you want a job or not?"

Lily feels herself flush but this time it's not from the heat. Something settles in the pit of her stomach and it's probably shame. "Yeah…but, but not  _that_  one." But it's too late; she's already lost her fire, her resolve.

"Come off it, it's not  _that_  bad."

It's Lily's turn to give a pointed look.

" _Okay_ , so the customers are rude and a bit handsy and they don't always tip well. But until you find something better, it's a job. And…if  _that's_  not incentive enough," Mary sits up, wearing a wicked smile and Lily's not sure if she should be afraid, "I'm already working there."

Lily wonders if she's waiting for a punch line of sorts, but Mary leaves it at that. "Wait…seriously?"

"What, you honestly believe that I'd  _stay_  after you left? You know how it is working for Riddle – it's a nightmare. I mean, it was halfway decent when you were there, but then you left so I figured it was time I did too. This place,  _Betty's_ , they don't seem half bad and after they hired me they said they're looking for one more waitress. So if you're up for it, it's yours."

Lily feels a rush of affection for Mary. Technically she doesn't even  _want_  the job but:

"All right. Just give me the address and I'll head over in the morning."

* * *

And just like that, she has a job. A job she  _hates_ , but it's a job

At least, this time, she's not working for such an arsemonger.

* * *

It's only Lily's third day and she can't believe how busy this place gets during lunchtime. Or how this thirteen-year-old thinks it's okay to run his hand up and down her leg. Or how  _nobody_  in the café notices – not even the knob head's parents – except for Mary, bless her, who "accidentally" knocks into his chair so hard it almost tips over.

And then there's another table she needs to wait on, because for every customer that leaves, another comes in, and they don't pay her enough for this. But it's better than being paid nothing at all.

When she approaches the booth, she's stunned to find James and Sirius seated across from one another, conspiring over what looks to be a nearly completed crossword puzzle. Girls from several of the surrounding tables are stealing interested glances at Sirius that he doesn't appear to notice, but Lily finds her heart racing instead at the sight of untidy black hair and crooked glasses.

He's a stupid boy, she thinks. A very, very stupid boy who's too clever for his own good. And cruel. And arrogant. And yet somehow wonderful in more ways than she can count. She wonders how it's possible for so much to exist within one person, how they can be so many things all at once and somehow still makes sense.

And Lily wonders how she can love so much of him and then hate so much of him and yet not hate  _him_  at all.

Because she doesn't. She never has. James Potter is a work-in-progress, but he's not a bad one, and she believes that he's trying – she  _has_  to. Because there's something about this boy and she thinks that maybe someday she could be in love with him.

And she wants him to  _know_  that she believes in him.

So Lily walks up to his table, head held high, and she greets him, echoing his words from the bookstore.

_Fancy meeting you here._

He looks up. He sees her. He smiles. And just like that, she feels like smiling back.

* * *

_"_ _Evans! A lad's requested you – table twelve!"_

The head waitress' words ring through Lily's ears. She weaves her way through customers, tables, and servers, and she feels almost lightheaded, almost sick. Who could possibly request her –  _specifically_  request her – to be their waitress? Obviously some bloke, and most likely a gross one at that; she's had the misfortunate of serving more than enough of those throughout her first few days here. One of them must have thought she was pretty, must have returned so that they could once again sneak touches and call her  _"love"_  and  _"sweetheart"_ …

She doesn't want to do this; she doesn't want to be here. Especially once it occurs to her that it could be Severus waiting for her at table twelve and now she feels  _really_  sick.

But then Lily comes closer and she sees him.  _James_. James who is ignoring his menu and choosing to instead doodle on his napkin – he's left-handed and she's never even noticed – while using his other hand to absently ruffle the back of his hair. James who has never touched her inappropriately or called her anything other than her  _name_.

It's James who has requested her. Not some random, sleazy bloke. And just like that, she feels overwhelmingly relieved; she can smile and she can breathe.

"Just couldn't stay away, could you?" she teases once she's reached him and maybe that isn't true, maybe he doesn't feel this same magnetism, but he  _doesn't_  stay away and she's glad for it.

James looks up and his eyes are bright, lively. Like those days they spent sitting in the sun. "Never for long." And it sounds like a promise. But then, "Unless you want me to. Stay away, that is."

" _No_ ,  _don't_ " she says, and it's a little too forceful, a little too quick. Her cheeks burn. "I mean, it's fine, you're fine." She's rushing through her words; he's noticed and he's smirking at her. "Er, I mean – do you know what you want to order? Or I could just start you off with something to drink –"

But James is laughing, he's laughing at  _her,_  and she has to hide behind her small notepad so he can't see her blush. "You're such a git," she whines, and it's true – so very true, and yet somehow she can't hate him for it.

He tugs playfully at her sleeve. "A git you couldn't  _bear_  to have stay away."

Lily has to swat him lightly with her notepad for that one. "Oh hush up, you. Just tell me if you want tea or coffee."

He wants tea and she gets it for him with a bit of sugar and a bit of lemon. He's settled down by the time she returns to him, and he offers her no apology, but a small grin.

"I'm just glad you don't hate me. You know. After everything."

Lily is caught off guard, her heart pounds, and she has to adjust her apron so that she doesn't have to look at him. Shrugging she says, "Well, I believe in giving people second chances."

"How about Snape? Giving him a second chance too?" She finds that there's a slight edge to his voice mixed in with his curiosity.

Looking up at him pointedly, she sighs, choosing her words carefully. "I…I've known Severus for a very long time, and…I can only give out so many second chances. Because then it's not so much of  _believing_  in someone as it is… _wishful_   _thinking_. It's been wishful thinking for Severus for years, and James…I want to believe in you – and I do. Like I used to once believe in him. Don't give me a reason not to."

James doesn't have anything to say to that, so she pushes him into ordering some food, and he lets her. But he's distracted. He says her name softly before she leaves for the kitchen. "You won't regret it."

"Regret what?"

"Believing in me."

He ends up later leaving her a tip that Lily's almost too embarrassed to accept. But she needs the money. And she knows that if he hadn't rushed out, he would have insisted that she take it. So she does.

And then she notices that he's written his number on his napkin.

* * *

She calls the next night, after her shift and after dinner. Her heart rate is much too high and her palms are much too sweaty when he finally answers.

"I've got a proposition for you," James eventually says after they've fumbled through pleasantries. "I was going to bring it up yesterday, but then it ended up not being the right time."

"What kind of proposition?"

He hesitates. "Well, it would require you to quit your job."

"Believe me, I don't need much convincing for that."

James laughs and she loves the sound of it. "Lily," he finally says and it all sounds so very dramatic, so very much like he's going to propose  _marriage_. What a silly and ridiculous boy that she can't help but enjoy. "How would you feel about being the co-owner and head chef of a food van?"

A food van. She doesn't know how he's got a hold of one and she doesn't care because it's like having your own mobile café and she'll be around  _food_  and actually get to  _cook_  it – it's all she's ever wanted. She doesn't even have to think about it. The words leave his lips, and just like that, it's:

"I'm in."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't Harry Potter. It's really unfortunate.


End file.
